I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
