my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No more Irish car bombs ever.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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