1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize