I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
