Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
