Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
