plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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