Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I deserve this hangover.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
