So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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