she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize