I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
