went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
