i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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