No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
