The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Randomize
