i permit you to call me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
