Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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