...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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