I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
