I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
