There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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