Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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