Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He? As in you personified your dick?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
