it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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