at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize