weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
