Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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