Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize