ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize