dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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