Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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