Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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