I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
