Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
