are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
