That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize