Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
