I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
