Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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