Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
