Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
