he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
