PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
