All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
