Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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