Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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