Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
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