There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize