had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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