Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
