so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
