There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Randomize