I smell stomach acid.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
