god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
