Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
