I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
