yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
