your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
