i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
