guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
