maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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