This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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