We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
