Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
